December Daze - The photographic evidence

It's a mystery what happened to the last month of 2014. All I know is that I came to in a jacuzzi at 6am on the 1st day of January twenty-fucking-fifteen. There was either a hot-tub time machine situation, or my mother was right about tequila.

According to instagram this is what we got up to:

(incidentally you can now follow us @2c_nts1camera - expect only the occasional boob)

The garden route was scenic as fuck.

Joburg is Joburg and we love her.

Kruger is beautiful and there are still some rhinos.

And somewhere near the end there was a turkey and the pool went green (#NOFILTER)

Gobble gobble.

Now let's never speak of 2014 again.

It gasped its final breaths: The very last bit of 2014

And thank God it’s over, amiright?

Okay, the cunts have been rather quiet of late… for a number of reasons, but let’s not get into the dull bits like too much work, general fatigue and the splutters and sighs of floundering creative thought. We keep that sort of nonsense for the people that have to love us – basically mothers; there is no one else.

The cunts and this pony are looking forward to a new year of adventures. 

Comp Entry: The Tossers

Good-looking guy tosses skinny Aussie 2012

Give us and we’ll give you: The 2 Cunts Christmas Competition

Ha, we’re not Santa Claus – we’re the two cunts and don’t give a shit how naughty or nice you have been, but the grumps have lifted slightly and it’s time to embrace a bit of the season’s silliness.  So we’re running over very first competition. (Ermagherd, how exciting, shit life just got infinitely better, etc, etc, etc…)

Just kidding, there might be something for you.

It’s beginning to feel a lot like Christmas…

Actually that’s bullshit. I haven’t felt Christmassy even once yet. Summer has barely shown its stupid face, the unending rain has gotten all over my patio’s new scatter cushions (serious, wtf?) and I haven’t even sniffed a mince pie. Which all serve as a reminder that this time of year is best suited to those with weeks of holiday, a ready supply of buckets and spades, and the sum total of zero fucks. In short, December, summer, and Christmas are the domain of youth – those little shits.

But all this has me thinking about the classic summer vaykay of the traditional South African childhood. Like Tupperware, moms smacking indiscriminately at legs when there was dissension in the back seat of the car, and having to “just wait until your father gets home”, there are key elements of this holiday that we have all experienced. Whether we grew up in the big city, or the ‘burbs, we can all remember:

Permission to "Awwwwww".

I think we can all agree that it's about time this week, this month and this year came to a fucking end. Here are some baby Kruger creatures to bring a brief moment of light to your meaningless existence.

He'll be stealing bread rolls from your car boot and snarling at you in no time.

Plotting to kill Mufasa.

It’s all about the microventure and I'm all about portmanteau

Other than our mobile phones, everything else is getting smaller – or maybe it’s just my bank balance... Either way, we all remember when Summer Roberts declared, “Mini is the new supersize” in Episode 2, Season 3 of The OC – obviously. Well that sassy, mid-noughties minx was on to something and this is just the sort of motto to apply to your travels. And I’m not simply talking about packing light, people.