For the rest of you hardened festive folk, let's talk about bands. Here are a few we've circled in permanent marker on our printed line up.
(Caveat: Don't be a slave your line up plan either, chilling at the top bar checking out somebody you've never heard of can be equally rewarded)
Friday
We're looking forward to kicking things off early with some sleaze and spandex from L.A. Cobra at 13h00 on the Main Stage.
Get comfortable, crack open a beer (while you still have ice) and make friends with your neighbours. Your next appointment is at the Skellum Stage at 20h00 for Cortina Whiplash .
Get comfortable, crack open a beer (while you still have ice) and make friends with your neighbours. Your next appointment is at the Skellum Stage at 20h00 for Cortina Whiplash .
Next up some aKing at the main stage at 21h00. After aKing get the fuck away from the Main Stage lest your ears be assaulted by the Parlotones trying to sell you something.
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| Want a new car? Not from you, dipshits. |
Aim to be back to Skellum for New Academics at midnight. We cream our jeans every time we get to see them play.
WE SUGGEST YOU DON'T FUCKING MISS: New Academics
Saturday
May your hangover not be too brutal and your shame not all encompassing. Even if it is, don't think you can skulk around your camp all day - there are bands to see and aural orgies to enjoy. (aural/oral - yup we did that.)
At 16h00 enjoy Al Bairre at the Main Stage. These Capetonians have warmed us to the Mother City like we're a bunch of Europeans enjoying that true 'African experience' in and around Cliftons' 1, 2 and 3, and Long Street.
Then it's time to journey awkwardly down teen pop-punk memory lane by screaming along to Birthday Card with Tweak - 19h00 at the James Phillips Stage. Try avoid the flashbacks to that time you got fingered at your cousin's house party in the 'burbs way back in 2002.
Then it's time to journey awkwardly down teen pop-punk memory lane by screaming along to Birthday Card with Tweak - 19h00 at the James Phillips Stage. Try avoid the flashbacks to that time you got fingered at your cousin's house party in the 'burbs way back in 2002.
Now that you've had your fill of adolescent misadventure, let's enjoy something with a bit of testosterone. On the Main Stage at 20h00 the Black Cat Bones will come in your ear pussy. One look at those beards and you know they could make you feel like a real woman.
WE SUGGEST YOU DON'T FUCKING MISS: Black Cat Bones, obviously.
Sunday
By now, you may have overreached and are lying in a pool of your own body oozings. Grab some wet wipes, clean yourself up and get ready for a final day of dirty delights. You need to get your full money's worth out of this weekend.
By now, you may have overreached and are lying in a pool of your own body oozings. Grab some wet wipes, clean yourself up and get ready for a final day of dirty delights. You need to get your full money's worth out of this weekend.
Up early for Satanic Dagga Orgy at 12h00 on the Skellum Stage. If you come back to our campsite after we'll organise this for real.
At 15h00 Crystal Park will play the Bruilhof Stage. There's gonna be some sweet country-style vibes. Perfect for regaining your composure before the final hoorah.
Get to the Main Stage for the Johnny Clegg tribute at 17h00. Every year, Oppi's tribute act gets us all huggy and proudly South African and this one is no different. As the sun sets, grab your pals, hold their hands and feel some things in your hearts.
We recommend avoiding Shortstraw at the Main Stage around 19h00. Now, now, untwist your knickers. We also enjoyed jamming with them at every single gig, event and festival over the last two years - but let's all try new things for a little while. You'll probably see them next month at something, anyway.
21h00 Brand New Main Stage. Our 18 year old selves are so goddamn excited about this. Their particular brand of emo got us through every post-high school set of feels. Think break ups, make ups and that time one of us kissed a girl. (Didn't like it, I'm afraid to report.)
Get to the Main Stage for the Johnny Clegg tribute at 17h00. Every year, Oppi's tribute act gets us all huggy and proudly South African and this one is no different. As the sun sets, grab your pals, hold their hands and feel some things in your hearts.
We recommend avoiding Shortstraw at the Main Stage around 19h00. Now, now, untwist your knickers. We also enjoyed jamming with them at every single gig, event and festival over the last two years - but let's all try new things for a little while. You'll probably see them next month at something, anyway.
21h00 Brand New Main Stage. Our 18 year old selves are so goddamn excited about this. Their particular brand of emo got us through every post-high school set of feels. Think break ups, make ups and that time one of us kissed a girl. (Didn't like it, I'm afraid to report.)
WE SUGGEST YOU DON'T FUCKING MISS: Johnny Clegg tribute
Monday
Go home now, friends. Go home and shower.
Monday
Go home now, friends. Go home and shower.
