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| Just don't |
The tents are up, the fire is on the go and you've cracked
open an ice-cold beer. But you’re sitting on the floor… What a tit. You, sir
(or madam) have overlooked the most vital element of surviving the great
outdoors – the camping chair. Because after the bottle opener, the one object
that can make or break your venture from civilization, is the place where you
settle your arse as night settles in.
Sure the bed sitch in your pegged-in abode is important, but
you’re not in it for very long. Unless of course you’re on some dirty camping
weekend or have come right at a grimy festival (which is a whole other story) –
in that case, bone on young lovers and who gives an eff about where you sit? If
not, the place where you will be setting up your semi-permanent residence is in
your chair, beside the roaring fire or in a choice spot of shade.
There’s a full selection of functional, outdoor seating to
choose from, ranging from the very basic to the fuck-off fancy, but the general
rule is that if your arse is not in the dirt then you should be pretty comfy.
However one particular style does deserve a special mention as I'm always
surprised by the extreme comfort levels of the really low-to-the ground beach
chairs. Despite having to look up at your fellow humans, the limbs somehow rest
at perfect angles for the most chilled vibes. This being said though, when
picking your seat it pays to pay attention to the maximum weight these chairs
can hold. Sure if you’re toting the Rolls Royce of outdoor seating then it’s
safe to say they’ll carry nearly anyone’s heft, but as you slip down the
sliding scale of cost and quality, be careful you don’t land with a thump on the
ground. The weightier human should perhaps spare no expense to spare their own
dignity.
Seriously don’t take a trip if you don’t have a chair. It
shows a distinct lack of foresight and questionable outdoor survival skills –
essentially you’re pointing yourself out as the weakest member of the herd. And
it’s not as though they’re hard to come by, this isn't a Foo Fighter’s golden
circle ticket situation. Go to Makro, or Outdoor Warehouse or even Mr Price Sport if you must.
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| Don't be Pete |
And don’t you dare invoke that savage practice of sitting
down the second some poor sap needs to dash to the loo or top up their bevvie –
were you raised by wolves? It is not a thing, it’s a travesty.
Because in the end, no matter how many fires you build or
glasses you fill, if you’re the idiot sitting in another person’s chair, you’re
going to be the least popular idiot in the (tented) village.
