A little while back I paid tribute to that
classic summer experience and smashed my way across this rather minxy slab of
earth with some sweet tunes pumping and the windows rolled down. Just kidding
about the last part, we’re talking the Karoo in summer, the windows were closed
and the aircon was turned up to the max. But that little detail aside, we were
road tripping like it was the summer of love and adventure was on the cards.
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| Taking a break along the way |
On Christmas Eve, the call came through and
I was ready to answer it. Sure I didn’t actually have the leave (yes, I’m one
of those poor saps who work through the festive season), my manager was on
holiday, and I’m poor because I chose to write for a living, but I sure-as-fuck
wasn’t going to let that stand in my way. Cunts are about solutions, not
problems, so five days later I was packed into the Pajero and bidding Jozi a
fond farewell. Destination: Knysna.
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| The view from my bedroom in Knysna |
Let’s take a break from this thrilling tale
of adventure to cover some key rules when it comes to long-distance driving:
Bring rad music and delicious snacks, and if you’re in the back, you don’t get
to comment on the driving. Now that we all know how not to be a dick on a
drive, I’ll get back to it.
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| First night in the chink |
To get the most out of the journey, it
certainly pays to meander. Take in the views, the local cuisine and nightlife
etc, etc. Our first stop was Philippolis in the Free State where we were booked
in at the “Ou Tronk”.
Once the town’s prison, you can now sleep in cells that are nearly 150 years
old and contemplate all the terrible things you have done in your life. It’s a
pretty cheap spot to stay and while very basic (it’s a prison for god’s sake)
it doe s add a little something to your first stopover. The teeny-tiny town of
Philippolis gave us brekkie the next morning, with a friendly cat for company,
before we were back on the road.
As with any adventure, it isn’t always
smooth sailing. A quick lunch turned into a bit of a battery debacle, but if
there’s one thing small town’s do well it’s friendly assistance. The waiter’s
attempts to jumpstart us were not going well, but a quick call to the mechanic
and we were back on the road. Cost of the call out? Well nothing, of course.
Battery worries (and some rain) put paid
our plans to take the mountain overpass to Knysna, so we headed towards George
and then up the coast. That evening we were settled in with some friends on
Thesen Island in Knysna, enjoying the perfect gin and tonic – total bliss.
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| Getting the drank on in Knysna |
After an amazing couple of days spent
drinking, eating and skinny-dipping we were ready for the next part of the
adventure. Waiting until the very last day to make the long drive home means
your state of relaxation goes from max-chillax to grumpasuarus quicker than you
can say, “thanks for having us”. So take it easy and spread it out.
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| Storms River |
From Knysna we headed to Storms River,
where we stayed at Tube
‘n Axe Backpackers, which while rather grubby provided a fire for braaing
and a bar for drinking – what more could you need? Storms River is a rather
attractive piece of South Africa and offers all sorts of outdoorsy activities
like tubing and canopy tours. We spent the next morning ziplining across a
gorge and for someone who hates heights,I had a pretty bitching time.
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| Storms River II |
The last night of the holiday was spent in
Nieu Bethesda. If you spend your whole life in this country and never pop in –
then shame on you. The town is famous for the Owl
House and serves food so good it’ll change your life. We stayed at Owlhouse Backpackers and after a scrummy meal
at the Nieu Bethesda Arts Centre our
little gang hit the only pub in town to hang out with bikers, some dogs and
someone’s pony. Check this place out before fracking fucks it up.
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| Dinner in Nieu Bethesda |
After that it was just the final leg home
and work in the morning. Sigh….
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| The perfect end to a day on the road |
