So Early Bird tickets for Oppikoppi are one
sale already. I think my panties got a touch damp when I first read the email –
I fucking love Oppi. I’ve been to many, many festivals, both local and
overseas, and for many, many reasons it’s this one that has established itself
in the corner of my heart. But festivals require a bit more effort and planning
these days. I need a little more than a bottle of apple sours and one tent
between seven friends if I’m going to enjoy myself – like gin and a blow up
mattress for starters. And this is why the one-day festival is even better than
that time I got to correct the grammar of a person who loves to correct
people’s grammar.
You see, these mini fests combine the
glorious occasion that is day drinking with some vital ingredients to make your
Saturday (or Sunday) even more delicious than those lamb burgers with minted
yoghurt I made that one time. Along with your gin and tonic, or smoothie laced
with glugs of vodka, you can feast your ears on some pretty sweet tunes. And
when the sun starts to slide away and the clock hands tick over to
rape-o-clock, you can pootle back to your own home and fling your joy-weary
body onto your very own bed. Unless, of course, you got lucky. Then it’s
high-fives all round, you sex-minx, and no need for concerns regarding the
cleanliness of the undercarriage. Because people shower every day when they
have a shower on tap – yay! But even if you did nothing more than enjoy the
impeccable company of your chosen humans (sans intercourse) there are very few
better ways to spend one of two days of freedom gifted to us.
And because we can claim neither beach nor
big rock, Joburg smashes out these weekend pearlers like an oyster trying to
make the rent. You cannot throw a stone in this town without hitting a hip
gathering of folks and good vibes. In fact the next couple of weeks are
dripping in the things. So why not settle your delightful arse at one of these
noteworthy events:
Park
Acoustics (Sunday, 1 March 2015)
Okay, so you do have to drive through to
Pretoria, but these monthly events are worth the effort. It’s a rad day of
music, comedy, drinking and eating at the Voortrekker Monument – see there’s a
spot of culture as well. This instalment sees the likes of AKing, We are
Charlie and The Plastics. Cancel whatever plans you’ve already made and have
some fun. Check out the deets here.
The
Nice Guys Sessions (Saturday, 7 March 2015)
I’ll admit I haven’t been to a chilled
arvie of live music at The Factory on Grant, but I do like chilled arvies,
especially when the location involves a rooftop. Craft beer isn’t my thing but
who am I to force my tastes on others and I’m sure there is more than enough
gin available to keep me sweet. Facebook says some things about it here.
Sowing
the Seeds (Saturday, 21 March 2015)
So Ben Howard is only pulling through later
in the year, but don’t go throwing your ticket on the floor and making a sulky
face just yet. The last Seeds shindig I went to was a blur of tequila, until a
friend dropped another friend on his face, which was hilarious for everyone
except the guy with his face resting quite firmly on the floor. Paolo Nutini is
some nice, easy listening and although I don’t know who Portugal. The Man are,
I’m willing to overlook their bizarre grasp of the actual workings of the full
stop. Shortstraw are obviously playing, because (and let’s be frank) when
aren’t they…?
Rise
and Shine (Saturday, 28 March 2015)
I once fell in love at a Rise and Shine.
The two cunts were relaxing in the delightful sunlight, when we were touched
with someone crooning. “She’s got them lobster tits, lobster tits, lobster
tits…” across the grassy knoll and I was never the person I was before that
moment again. The food at this place is also pretty good, and if you’re into
early mornings you can go early and do some yoga. Listen to Desmond & the
Tutus, Tidal Waves and Bye Beneco by snapping up a ticket here.
[Several of these photos were stolen from a friend]
