#tbt: Dressing Fancily

We live fancy lives. Fancy dress lives, that is. 

Okay, shit intro - I'll accept that, but just remember this: rather a shit intro than a shit life.

What a scream, it's Halloween!

So it’s Halloween and of course you fuckers are going to dress up and get wasted. Cunt HQ is buzzing with excitement because this is our favourite holiday of the year. Okay fine, it’s not actually a ‘holiday’ holiday like braai day or anything, but it is the best* thing that the old US of A exported over here. (*From a list that otherwise included childhood obesity, shitty hamburger chains, any and everything pertaining to Jared Leto and 30 Seconds from Mars, and that time the Kardashians came to visit.)

Now we know you’re racking your brains trying to come up with an outfit that is better than anything your friends could possibly think of, so we’re stepping in to offer some assistance – cunt style. Because for the sweet love of any god that is merciful, we don’t need another slutty version of an acceptable profession/beloved childhood cartoon. Or hairy legs in fishnets/balls bulging in leggings – yes boys, I'm talking to you.

No.

Free ball in the Free State

Is the Free State the overlooked province? I don't know, maybe.

But it's a pretty fucking beautiful place to explore. We usually go to Golden Gate National Park - you could too. Or you could just look at these and pretend. Whatevs.

Camping equipment maintenance or lack there of

So let’s talk (except I'm going to write and then you’ll read) about camping equipment maintenance. Or what I like to call: Never actually getting around to cleaning out the fucking tent.

This camp site is a thing of beauty

Turkish Delight

So I was going to kick this off by saying that Turkey is totally shit and overrated – really dry, and completely ruins Christmas unless you drown it in cranberry sauce to combat the desert-vibes going on in your mouth. But that’s a pretty crappy joke so I've decided not to open with it.

I only had one requirement of this Turkish vaykay and that was to get a tan. I know what kind of person that makes me sound like, but this winter has been long and I like having that tan line across the top of my arse and who the fuck are you to judge me? Anyway, moving swiftly forward, I can safely say that Turkey delivered on the tan front and then some.

Attractive boat scene.

Pic Tease: Turkey Holiday 2014

 We're packing something big and it’s all for you. But let’s start with the tip, just to see how it feels. 

I'm on a boat, mother fucker.