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| Pretty City - image from National Geographic |
So you ignoramuses may not know this, but for many years
Cape Town was our motherfucking backyard. When the cunts and youth were the
dearest of friends we used to traipse the streets of those Southern Suburbs
kicking ass and taking names. But that was then and then sure as fuck isn’t
now.
Just this past weekend, this cunt took a little trip down
memory lane for a visit to the Mother City and spend some time with old
friends. Let’s just say, it currently feels as though the only ass that got
kicked was mine. I’m saying I partied too hard.
Anyway let’s get down to my general musings of things to do
and see and what not.
Firstly I got to use Cape Town’s MyCiTi buses and I while I’m
strictly Team Jozi you can’t deny that the Cape has this public transport shit
under control. While the Gautrain cost me R135 each way, the MyCiTi Bus from
the Airport to the CBD was only about R55. And I bet you that had I felt
parched, I could have had a drink of my fucking water without the long arm of
the public transport law bashing me on the head. The buses go all over the
place – I dig that shit. You can find out more about routes and shit here.
Friday night meant a visit to EVOL. Back in the
mid-naughties, my booted, black eyelinered-self slouched around that place like
one of Pete Doherty’s desperate groupies and I was intrigued to revisit the club
that birthed the South African hipster crowd. I’m sad to say there were girls
there that seemed to be on a bachelorette party. This hurt my judgemental heart,
but otherwise we drank and danced well into the early hours of Saturday.
The next day we smashed some delicious Eggs Benedict with feta
and jalapeno sauce at Beleza. Just
the thing to cure the hangover while we sat outside in the sunshine. My
darlingest friend, Kerry took me to see her latest solo exhibition
at blank projects. Shit this bitch is good!
Saturday night was the big hooray. We kicked it off at Takumi with the biggest fucking bottle of
sake and the most amazing sushi I’ve ever put in my mouth. And I’ve put some
things in my mouth in my time! There are no words for the extreme levels of
tastiness experienced there. Then it was cocktails at the Mount Nelson, cause
that’s just how we roll. We rounded off the night with a solid Jam at After
Hours at The Assembly. Ignore the kids
and enjoy some solid 90s tunes. Actually don’t ignore the kid that slips in his
own vomit. I laughed my tits off at that.
For me a weekend in Cape Town is incomplete without some Fat
Cactus chilli poppers. As dirty UCT students, we spent many (and I mean MANY) a
happy hour at the original Fat Cactus in
Mowbray drinking their jugs of frozen margs and getting rowdy. The service isn’t
great, the food nothing fancy, but that taste of nostalgia is completely
priceless.
Go to Cape Town, try these things – don’t be lazy shits.
